So, since the last episode, Downton has been turned into a convalescent home for wounded officers and the transition isn't going smoothly. Isobel is ruffling feathers like it's an Olympic sport by assuming the title of Head Bitch of Downton and repeatedly Guilt-Slapping Cora and Grantham whenever they object to her measures. It's almost impressive how Completely Hateful she manages to be while Selflessly Championing Injured Soldiers.
O'Brien comes up with a solution and suggests that Cora hire Thomas to manage the day-to-day affairs of the hospital while playing strictly for Team Cora. Thomas, bemused, wonders why O'Brien should care that Isobel is running roughshod over Cora, since that used to be O'Brien's favourite pastime. But O'Brien has regrets, you see. Soap-related regrets. And she won't allow Cora to be humiliated by anyone, anymore. Character development!
Thomas accepts the job, of course, since it involves Stomping Through the Front Door Like a BOSS and openly bitching at Carson.
Sadly, things aren't going too well for Anna. She's still Bates-less - until she catches a glimpse of him in the village while out on an errand. Mary uses her contacts (i.e. Carlisle) to find out Bates is now working at a pub called the Red Lion. As we discovered in season one, Bates is a recovering alcoholic, so the fact that his Crazy Wife Vera has forced him to work in a pub is particularly painful. Anna confronts Bates and offers to be his mistress, but Bates has been working on an exit strategy. Crazy Wife Vera is also Crazy Cheating Wife Vera and once Bates gets proof of this, he can divorce her. Sounds like a plan!
Irish Socialist Chauffeur Branson, meanwhile, is finally called up to the War Effort, but decides he'll conscientiously object by going through all the medical exams and training only to quit on the first day like a Self-Righteous Jackass. However, his dreams of being a Pretentious Attention Whore are dashed when a previously undiagnosed heart murmur bars him from service. He settles for being a whiny butthole with Sybil instead, because he is Terrible. He is also Completely Wrong about the consequences of the Russian Revolution.
Meanwhile, Aunt Rosamund and Bad-Ass Mutha Violet team up to dig up dirt on The Picture of Health Lavinia based on the argument Rosamund witnessed between her and Carlisle in the previous episode. Rosamund may be Terrible, but she and Bad-Ass Mutha Violet are so entertaining as Catty Bitch Detectives in this episode that I'll give her a rare pass. Turns out, Future Looks Bright Lavinia was the whistleblower behind a huge insider-trading scandal involving her uncle and a bunch of other politicians. She leaked the deets to Carlisle, who ran the news in his paper, and Rosamund figures the only reason Not Doomed Lavinia would do such a thing is if her and Carlisle's respective uglies had been formerly introduced.
Rosamund and Bad Ass Mutha Violet eagerly encourage Mary to dump this mess in Matthew's lap in order to win back his affections and shoot down Still Alive Lavinia's chances, but Mary decides to be a Classy Broad and talk to Fully Vaccinated Lavinia to learn her side of the story. No sex was involved, as it turns out, only a father's debt, so Mary keeps her mouth shut around Matthew. More character development!
Minor Subplot Round Up:
- Mrs. Patmore and Lang share an insightful conversation about the real, gritty experience of war - until Lang goes and spills the beans about how her nephew was shot for cowardice in front of all the staff like an ASSHOLE
- Ethel begins a flirtation with an impressively-mustached officer named Major Bryant. Says Edith: "No one tucks better than I do!" A line which made me wonder when she'll make Bryant put the lotion on his skin.
- William proposes to Daisy, and Mrs. Patmore all but forces Daisy at gunpoint to accept, because William's manbaby heart won't be able to survive the war if his desires are thwarted in any way.
Everything in the episode comes to a head when Downton hosts a dinner party for a visiting general in order to show off the hospital. Dr. Clarkson, in a rare burst of competence, refuses to allow Isobel to hog the spotlight and credits Cora as co-Head Bitch in Charge. Branson volunteers to be footman so that he can dump garbage over the general's head to prove he's an Insufferably Moronic Rebel, but his plans are thankfully thwarted by Carson and Mrs. Hughes. Lang has another PTSD freakout so Carson has to give him the boot.
And finally, in one of the episode's sweeter moments, Edith is singled out for praise by the General, as unbeknownst to and unlike everyone else, she'd managed to be cheerful, generous, and helpful to all the soldiers without making a Big Fucking Deal about it. Everyone raises a glass to a long-deserving Edith. Hurrah!
Things I Liked:
- Thomas' Swag (watch out Carson!)
- Edith getting her due - FINALLY
- Learning Bates isn't sitting on his hands doing nothing about his Crazy Wife Vera
- Mary being a Classy Broad who refuses to play dirty for Matthew's heart
- Rosamund and Violet as the #1 Catty Bitches Detective Agency
- Major Bryant's Moustache
Things I Didn't:
- Literally Everything Isobel Says and Does
- Lang blabbing about Mrs. Patmore's nephew
- Branson being a Flamboyantly Whiny Attention Whore
- Lavinia. Still. Ugh.
- The increasingly awkward William and Daisy Guiltship - and Mrs. Patmore's involvement.
Other Remarks: I was really impressed with this episode - Edith pulled on her big girl panties and got noticed for it, Mary's efforts to be Less Horrible succeeded by leaps and bounds, Isobel got put in her place and Thomas got promoted to Sergeant (er, acting Sergeant). The unifying event of the General's dinner tied up the disparate plot threads nicely, even if I was a little surprised to see Lang depart so soon. Almost everyone was completely reasonable in this episode - which, of course, means the episode could have done with a little more drama.
Rating: Three Footman Freakouts Out of Four
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