I finally did it!

Despite resurging waves of self-doubt, debilitating insecurity and just plain ol' terror, I finally applied yesterday to the Vancouver Film School for their Writing for Film, TV & Interactive Media program. I should hear from them in a few weeks or so. My parents are sure I'll get in, but I'm not - they only take ninety students a year (three a classes a year with 30 students each) for their writing programs, and they're pretty elite so they get loads of applicants. I mean, KEVIN SMITH went there - yes, he dropped out to make Clerks, but STILL!

I'm still terrified - right now I keep thinking I know nothing about nothing. If I want to write a screenplay about someone who works in an office, I'm paralysed by the thought, "I know nothing about offices, I have no idea where to start researching offices, what do businessmen do again? What's a merger? What's a conglomerate? What stupid idiot doesn't know WHAT A MERGER IS??!!" And that's when my idea kind of dies.

And then there's that whole part about me having to finally get a full-time job, and keep it, for a year and half in order to make enough money for the tuition and living and travel expenses. I've never had a full-time job - I've had jobs that have come close to full-time hours, but I've never managed five eight-hour shifts in a row. Seriously. I'm a pampered upper-middle-class suburb princess and I have no idea how to live my life. I feel like I'm not really good at anything except writing.

And after the terrors of working scour through my mind, I have to deal with the horrors of living on my own for the first time ever in a city I've never been to. And I'll have to learn how to budget my meagre full-time earnings so that I don't starve halfway through the school year. And my parents won't be able to help unless it's an emergency because they have big plans of their own. So yeah, I'm scared. So even if I get accepted, that gives me two huge years of stress. And THEN there's the whole what-do-I-now problem once I graduate - if I don't get an internship, so I have to go back to my hometown or do I try to get a job in LA?

But I need to keep at this - I have no idea what else I would want to do with my life. I mean, I've considered other options - I've wanted to be a teacher, a librarian, a fantasy/romance novelist -- but I've realized that even if I became the best teacher, librarian, novelist in the world, I'd still come home from work to make up movies in my head while listening to music for hours on end. And I've done this for pretty much my entire life. At least if I'm a screenwriter, those movies have some chance of getting MADE, and of me getting PAID for them.

So, in between actual schoolwork (which I've been neglecting of late), I'm trying to keep myself psyched about screenwriting so I don't flip out and have a nervous breakdown before 2009 rolls around. Which means subscribing to screenwriter blogs and reading scripts from Drew's Script-O-Rama and trying to live independently (or at least pretend to) while still living in my parents' house. It's pretty hard right now - a large part of me doesn't want to get accepted to Vancouver Film School. But twenty years from now, I'll probably appreciate the stuff I learned.

Submitted: "House Hunting"

...to Orson Scott Card's Intergalactic Medicine Show. I may not have time to write anything creative this semester, but it doesn't take that much time to send e-mails or like stamps so I should still try submitting the stuff I've already finished. So I've submitted "House Hunting" again - I still feel it's my best story, although on my 150th reading of it today I discovered an egregious typo that made me feel really embarassed. I got rid of it before I sent in it, though. And today I REALLY have to finish getting my materials together for the Vancouver Film School, because I pre-applied a month ago and I'm still not done!

The Hot Men Of Fall

Okay, Comparative Literature Class today is boring, so I thought I'd take the time to write an entry in my much-neglected blog. I've had a lot of work to do, but so far I've managed to stay enough ahead that I can still keep up with the new fall TV. And wow, is there a lot of good new Fall TV. I've found I've divided the days in the week not only by the shows I am now watching, but by the incredibly good-looking guys that are part of each shows cast. What is it about 2007 that made all these new hot guys just bubble like rich cream to the top of the the Casting Pile? Really? I've had to renovate my crush-du-jour stable to make room! So, I thought I would provide my loyal readers with a helpful day-by-day calendar for the Best Shows (and guys) to Watch.

Sunday
The Dude:
Nathan Fillion
The Show: Desperate Housewives
The Word: Haven't been watching too much of this show, to be honest - I gave it up for the last couple of seasons since the stinker of season 2 so it's hard to pick it up again, but I will for Nathan Fillion - especially if he plays a husband with a paaaast.

Monday
The Dudes:
Adrian Pasdar, Milo Ventimiglia, Zachary Quinto, and Zachary Levi
The Shows: Heroes (Pasdar, Ventimiglia, Quinto), and Chuck (Levi).
The Word: Monday? How 'bout Manday. Seriously - who can hate starting the school/work week when you know you're going home to a feast of eye candy like these folks? Heroes is an already established show, but already its second season is full of mysteries (how did Peter lose his shirt--er, I mean memory? When will Sylar get his powers back?). And as for Chuck, about a sexy nerd (Levi) who's recruited into the spylife after he accidently downloads America's secrets into his brain, it has all the action of Alias with the humour of Office Space. And did I mention Levi is adorable? Even when he freaking out? Especially when he's freaking out?

Tuesday
The Dudes:
Lee Pace and Bret Harrison
The Shows: Pushing Daisies and Reaper
The Word: Pushing Daisies is currently the best-reviewed and the best-watched show of the Fall season, and while the detractors have called it over-precious and over cute, I'm of the opinion that the show itself (about a guy who can bring people back from the dead with a touch, and kill them again with a second touch) can't possibly be cuter than its lead, the chipmunk-cheeked Lee Pace. And as for Reaper, yes, Ray Wise is badass as the Devil, but Bret Harrison (who also auditioned for Chuck) isn't bad lookin' as the 21-year-old slacker forced into being a bounty hunter for Satan after his parents sold his soul to the Devil before he was born. He could have made his character a total loser, but instead, his charms makes his character only a partial loser, because after all, he is a bounty hunter now, and to quote the Wise's smarmy, paternal Lucifer, "that's cool, right?"

Wednesday
The Dude:
Damien Lewis
The Show: Life
The Word: Smooth Brit Lewis (who looks like a sexier, younger, red-headed version of Hugh Laurie) plays a cop who was wrongly imprisoned for 12 years for a triple murder he didn't commit. Having relied on Zen teachings while in the slammer to maintain his sanity, once freed (and returned to the force with a 50 million dollar cheque as a settlement), he applies this form of thought to the crimes that he solves, while at the same time trying to figure out who set him up in the first place. This means that he can be at turns menacing (pulling a knife on an aggressive suspect) and hilariously goofy (his failure to apply Zen-like detachment to his new sports car: "I am not attached to this car....I am not attached to this car....I am somewhat attached to this car..."). Most cop shows these days have to apply some sort of gimmick to a cop's personality to make it work, but I have to say, I think the idea of a Zen-convict-Cop could have longterm potential.

Thursday
The Dudes:
Alec Baldwin and Steve Carell
The Shows: 30 Rock and The Office
The Word: I didn't expect to watch 30 Rock - I thought I'd be more of a Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip fan, and while that was a good show, this one lasted more than a season. It's weird tuning in on the sophomore season, but I'm glad I did. Love Alec Baldwin on SNL? Imagine you can have that once a week, along with Tina Fey, and a Tracy Morgan who's actually funny! Seriously, this show is hilarious, and is a nice, fluffy 30-minute alternative to the heavier hour-long drama fare. And should I even mention The Office? I've been watching it since season one, and in every single episode I want to give Carell's Michael Scott a hug and tell him he is loved. He'll be this ignorant, stupid, despairing, albeit hilarious ass for most of the episode, but he'll have one minute, maybe even only thirty seconds, of sad-eyed humanity that makes the whole episode worth it. Michael Scott needs a hug, but since I can't give him one (on account of him being fictional) I'll just have to show my empathy by watching the show.

Friday
The Dude:
Alex O'Loughlin
The Show: Moonlight
The Word: Seriously - watch this show. WATCH IT. Don't listen to the (unfortunately numerous) negative reviews of the pilot. This show was seriously hampered by a shoddy pilot (the result of a near-complete cast overhaul and harried reshoots), but the following episodes have shown such an increase in writing and quality that have made this my Friday must-watch. The story? Criminally-hot Australian Alex O'Loughlin plays Mick St. John, a vampire who solves crimes with the help of a cute blonde reporter (Sophia Myles). What? You need a plot? Moonlight has turned out to be an incredibly watchable paranormal romance with a procedural element, and while it remains a little short on, well, logic - it's an excellent, soapy, romantic way to relax on a Friday. Hot vampires! Hot vampires solving crimes! Jason Dohring as a billionaire vampire playboy!

Saturday
The Dude:
Bill Hader
The Show: Saturday Night Live
The Word: I will be the first to admit that SNL has a crappy couple of seasons recently. With the help of pitch-perfect impressionist Hader and Andy Samburg's Digital Shorts, though, SNL is slowly (but surely) starting a comedic upswing. It has a stellar cast this season (along with Hader, there's Will Forte, Kristen Wiig, Fred Armisen, and Samburg, who have all been constant contributors to the funny of the show) - and with better writing, SNL could easily return to greatness.

And that's my TV week! Enjoy!

Submission and Rejection

I got a form rejection from Realms of Fantasy for "House Hunting" and a rejection from Heliotrope for "Whiff." I haven't had time this school year for much creative writing, but when I saw a poster for the Comparative Literature department's journal calling for stories, I thought "what the hell" and submitted "Parasite: A Love Story." What's one more rejection for "PALS"?