I'm now in Washington, DC, typing from Kristie J's computer (thanks Kristie J!), and recovering from an exhausting but fantastic couple of days.
Yesterday, I took two flights that eventually landed me in Baltimore, where I then took a shuttle that took an hour and a half to reach Washington DC. Good news, though, I ended up on the same shuttle with paranormal authors Gerry Bartlett and Nina Bangs! It was awesome talking to them, taking photos with them - what a great initial experience for the conference! Bad news: discovered of all the things I could have forgotten to pack, I forgot to pack lipstick (but not my new eyeshadows!).
Tired as I was, it wasn't long before I ran into Kristie J, Wendy the Superlibrarian, Rosie, and Barbara. We had a lot of fun talking about romance with other people who knew what secret babies and alpha/beta males were!
Next day, used some of my Granny's gift money to spend shamelessly on room service breakfast (thanks Granny!). Registered for the conference today - there are two other conferences going on the in the same hotel but ours is the most exciting. Didn't see the attendees of the other conferences finding free romance novels and flashdrives loaded with reference materials in their boring totebags which totally weren't covered in fabulous examples of Harlequin covers spanning 60 years! I also checked out the Goody Room, where there were more free books, as well as cool cover flats, bookmarks, luggage tags, fridge magnets, pens. Great way to promote your materials!
Went sightseeing with Kristie J and Barbara - saw the Washington Monument. Checked out the Smithsonian National Museum of American History, where we saw the original Kermit the Frog puppet and the actual ruby slippers used in The Wizard of Oz! Afterward, Kristie J and Barbara headed back to the hotel, so I decided to check out the rest of the monuments (Lincoln, Korean War, World War II) on my own. It was quite a walk, but the weather was gorgeous (really hot, but the nice really hot if you have a sunhat and a cold bottle of water). Took some great photos.
Came back exhausted and with a killer headache, so I slept until the Literacy Signing. I will post photos of the entire trip once I get back so I'll just have to give you a description now: I met most of my favourite authors and picked up lots of books (for charity! for CHARITY!), and I got a picture with Nora Roberts for Granny (get well soon, Granny!). I have to cut this short and edit in links later because I have to get ready for the RWA Online Chapter party. See you later!
In less than 12 hours I will be boarding the plane (one of the planes, anyway) that will be taking me to Washington, DC for the RWA National Conference. I plan on meeting up with many blogging friends (and authors and readers), but since I've known or met or spoken with them over the internet, how shall we know each other? Well, I don't know about other bloggers, but without giving too much away, if you are at RWA:
1. I'll be the loud one. Yes. Louder than everyone else. "I CAN'T SEEM TO CONTROL THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE!"
2. I might be the one singing Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie's "The War of 1812" in front of the White House ("And the White House burned, burned, burned, and we're the ones that did it" - look it up on YouTube, CANUCK PRIDE 4 LIFE).
3. I might be the one dragged off for a cavity search for singing "The War of 1812" in front of the White House ("The White House burned, burned, burned, and things were very historical - and the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies, wah wah waaaaah - in the War of 1812!").
4. I'll be the one squirrelling every book I can get into my backpack/tote/purse/moneybelt (somehow?). I treat swag and free stuff like the internet - IT'S SERIOUS BUSINESS. When I went to the last job fair at my university, I returned home with 47 pens and a full freezer bag of candy just from picking it up from the tables and talking to people (the one thing I didn't bring back, oddly enough? A job). Imagine what I'll do at RWA.
5. I'm the one wearing black and white polka-dots, black trousers and glossy red pumps to every formal party/function (I'm packing light. Why? See above).
6. I'll be chatting up my (still planning my second draft, damn it to hell) novel, The Duke of Snow and Apples. I might mention words like "colour symbolism" and "magically-Regency-ish".
7. I'll be the one handing a Canadian souvenir to the wonderful Cheryl Dickerson who has been such a great help with accomodating my food allergies at the RWA-provided meals.
Other than that, I'll will just have to see how things go. I will be handing out business cards. I will be attending workshops (mostly about historical research and fantasy worldbuilding). I picked my two travelling books. I'm almost done Sabrina Jeffries' One Night With a Prince, but I think I'll be leaving it behind to finish later (horndog asshole hero + actually alright heroine who shouldn't put up with his bullshit = indifferent read). Nope, on this trip I'm bringing His Every Kiss by Laura Lee Guhrke (I haven't read much by her in a while), and Not Quite a Husband by Sherry Thomas. Yeah, I caved. I felt so apathetic towards Private Arrangements and I couldn't understand why, because it was legitimately well-written. So I'm trying again with Not Quite a Husband. Maybe I'll have the same response I had to Julie Anne Long (where I hated her first book but impressed with her writing and was rewarded by her next one).
Hope to see you there!
Alternate Title: Ho For Show
The Chick: Belinda Hamilton. After an obsessed and unwelcome suitor destroyed her family's finances and living on the streets ruined her future, the formerly virtuous finishing-school teacher decides to become a courtesan. Luckily for her, on her first foray on the open market (so to speak), she hooks up with the honorable Duke of Hawkescliff, a man who will pay her to pretend to be his mistress while they smoke out a killer.
The Rub: Although both agree to a no-sex clause in their arrangement, Bel ends up falling for Hawkescliff's virtue and steadfastness. However, thanks to scars from her past she's terrified of the act of lovemaking.
Dream Casting: Romola Garai.
The Dude: Robert Knight, Duke of Hawkescliff. For years he repressed his love for his oldest friend's wife, and when her husband informs him he suspects his nephew Dolph might have killed her, Robert thinks the best way to squeeze Dolph into confessing is to pretend a courtship with the object of Dolph's obsessive affection: Belinda Hamilton.
The Rub: While Robert believes himself morally superior to paying for sex from a dolled-up whore, he ends up enjoying Belinda's company far more than he anticipated. But, as a prominent Tory politician, can he afford to jeopardize his sterling reputation by involving Belinda in a deeper commitment?
Dream Casting: Richard Armitage.
The Plot:
Earl of Coldfell: Dude, you loved my wife - now avenge her death!
Robert: Yes, sir!
Dolph, Suspected Murderer: Belinda, Belinda, Belinda, Belinda, Belinda. I love Belinda. Can't wait to marry Belinda.
Belinda: Oh, did I mention? I'm a courtesan now.
Dolph: WHAT. THE. HELL.
Robert: *lightbulb!* Miss Hamilton, want to kill two revenge birds with one stone? Let's team up! ..............only without sex.
Belinda: Thank goodness he doesn't want to have sex! I'm terrified!
Robert: Thank goodness I don't have to have sex! I have morals!
Belinda: *prepares dinner* *dresses pretty* *hosts parties* Who knew? I like being a political hostess!
Robert: *buys Belinda fancy presents* *takes her on drives* Who knew? I like making my fake girlfriend happy!
Belinda and Robert: Oh shit, we're perfect for each other!
Robert: But I can't marry you, I have a reputation!
Belinda: But I can't be your mistress if you're married!
Every Other Character in the Book: Robert - DON'T BE AN ASS.
Robert: Fine, let's get married!
Belinda: Hooray!
Romance Convention Checklist
1 Ho fo' Sho'
3 Hos for Reals (Harriette Wilson and her sisters!)
2 Precocious Children
2 Precocious Siblings
1 Loving but Still Neglectful Parent
1 Loving but Still Slutty Parent (deceased)
1 "No Sex" Agreement Doomed to Failure
1 Fancy Coach and Four
1 Case of Muuuuuuuuuuurder
2 Romantically Lacklustre Rivals
1 Secondary Romance
1 Rape
1 Royal Ass-Whupping as Punishment of Rape
The Word: Well, who knew I'd find another great author right before I'm set to attend the RWA National Conference that she'll be attending? Murphy's Law, right? I hope my luggage can handle the extra weight of books. I've had this book on my TBR pile for a while now, and after reading an excellent book by an author I knew (Jo Goodman), I decided to pick up a book by an author I didn't. And what a good lucky dip it was!
Robert Knight, Duke of Hawkescliff, is an honourable man. When he fell in love with the much-younger wife of his old friend, the Earl of Coldfell, he did nothing about it. When Lucy, the wife, dies under mysterious circumstances, Coldfell tells Robert he suspects foul play and the person responsible for it. However, as he's too elderly to exact revenge himself, he trusts Robert with the task, explaining his strong suspicions that his wastrel nephew and heir Dolph Breckinridge did it to prevent Lucy from conceiving a child that would have deprived him of his inheritance.
Belinda Hamilton used to be a virtuous woman - that is, until Dolph Breckinridge set his sights on her. When she refused his attentions, he had her father thrown in prison for debt. When she found work as a finishing-school teacher, he had her fired. Reduced to working as an orange girl in the streets, penniless and friendless thanks to Dolph, she's eventually raped by her father's prison warden. Thinking her last precious possession (her virtue) has been stolen, she believes there's no point in guarding her reputation any longer. However, she would rather swallow glass than marry Dolph, so she decides to stick it to Dolph and get some ready cash to spring her father at the same time by asking the famous Harriette Wilson (a real-life courtesan who counted Wellington among her lovers) to train her as a courtesan.
Robert first meets Belinda when she's just finished her training as a courtesan. She's well on her way to charming the pants off all the eligible men in London, but she hasn't chosen an official protector yet. Robert, after ingratiating himself with Dolph in an attempt to sneak a confession out of him, discovers Dolph's obsession with Belinda. The brute is outraged when he discovers "his" woman would rather be a whore than marry him, and Robert sees an opportunity to put the screws to Dolph and send him over the edge: if he becomes Belinda's protector, he'll have something important enough to hold over Dolph that just might be worth confessing to murder for.
Robert approaches Belinda, offering to be her protector. Belinda is immediately attracted to him - not only is he handsome and rich, but he has a reputation for honour and integrity and is unmarried (Belinda, for all that she's a courtesan, still struggles with the idea of competing with a wife). She even agrees with his political views! The arrangement promises to be mutually beneficial in all sorts of ways: both of them want revenge against Dolph Breckinridge, and Robert, far too upstanding and moral to really use a courtesan, promises to pay and treat Belinda like a mistress without bedding her like one. Belinda, still traumatized from her rape, thinks this is an awesome idea.
However, the wonderful joy of this novel comes from how this plan goes horribly, horribly wrong. While both Robert and Belinda work hard to maintain the appearance of being a loving couple, neither of them plan on how much they end up enjoying it - Robert particularly. Rigidly moral in his views, he sneers at the general idea of mistresses and courtesans, but he quickly discovers he loves spending time pleasing Belinda and surprising her with presents. One of my favourite scenes is when he buys her a carriage and horses and his boyish "aw, shucks" reaction to Belinda's delight.
Belinda, meanwhile, to repay Robert, goes above and beyond the tasks of a mistress - arranging his household, hosting parties, tuning his instrument (his piano, you pervs!), and discovers the same thing - she loves helping him and making him comfortable. The greater part of the novel is how Robert and Belinda have to deal with their immediately happy feelings around each other - the murder mystery is pretty much a flimsy piece of fluff designed to bring the protagonists together.
And I loved the protagonists. Robert's mother was Georgiana Knight, the "Hawkescliff Harlot," a woman who gave her husband two legitimate children (Robert and his baby sister Jacinda) but produced four other sons from her adulterous liaisons. Robert grew up watching how his mother's antics unmanned his father and was determined to live a moral life. So, yes, he's a righteous, proud, upstanding prude. But he's not mean about it, and that's the kicker. Even though he disapproves of courtesans and mistresses, he never goes out of his way to bludgeon Belinda with his dislike and he treats her with courtesy and kindness. It was delightful to watch how easily he jumped down from his high horse whenever Belinda needed him to - when he finally does find out Belinda's painful secret, his actions are immediate, hella bad ass, and definitely don't adhere to any rulebook.
Similarly, Belinda is not "oh woe is me" about being a courtesan - while she wishes life had been different, she had reasons for her choice and accepts the consequences. Ultimately she wishes she hadn't had to become a courtesan - but she doesn't reject the wealth and fancy gowns and presents that Robert gives her as being "bought with sin" or some crap. She doesn't reject or resent Robert as the man who's paying for her affections, either. She needs the money, Robert is kind enough to give it to her, and she's creative enough to repay him with her hostessing skills and public attentions. This is not a romance where the hero and heroine meet, instantly dislike each other, and proceed to insult and belittle each other until they fall into bed.
Really, nearly the whole novel impressed me - Gaelen Foley does a great job integrating the history of the period into the story. Several real-life personages appear - politicians, artists, courtesans - and their inclusion in the story makes sense and adds to the historical atmosphere rather than seeming like convenient name-dropping. Robert is a prominent politician, therefore it makes sense when he meets real-life ministers and dignitaries. Similarly, as a prominant courtesan, Belinda naturally would deal with Harriette Wilson and her sisters and their famous lovers and hangers-on.
This novel would have been a perfect A if not for the third act, which sagged a bit as the conflict ran out of steam. We get some waffling from the hero, some laboured justifications for Robert's slutty mum (that don't totally redeem her, in my opinion), and some last-minute conflict resolutions. Otherwise, though, this was a lovely novel with refreshingly open and loving characters.
A-
The Chick: Emmalyn "Emma" Hathaway. While on an errand for her cousin, she was abducted and cruelly beaten, barely managing to escape. While her uncle and cousin Marisol are convinced this was a random attack, Emma fears someone may have mistaken her for popular Marisol and might strike again, so she goes to Restell Gardner, Regency Problem Solver, to help investigate the motive behind her abduction.
The Rub: Emma herself remembers little about the attack, and still suffers the psychological repercussions, such as blackouts and panic attacks triggered by seemingly harmless gestures.
Dream Casting: A younger Kate Beckinsale.
The Dude: Restell Gardner. The younger stepbrother of the Earl of Ferrin, Restell is happy to live in his brother's pocket while he conducts his own private investigations for clients. When Emma comes to him for help, he knows this is a case he can't walk away from.
The Rub: While Emma remains convinced her attacker was really aiming for Marisol, Restell fears something bigger might be afoot - and that Emma might very well have been the intended target after all.
Dream Casting: True Blood's Ryan Kwanten.
The Plot:
Emma: I need protection!
Restell: For yourself?
Emma: No - for my cousin.
Restell: Riiiiiiight.
Emma: I wasn't the target. *is almost drowned*
Restell: Uh huh.
Emma: No really.
Restell: Just like you aren't a secret artist who's maintaining your uncle's reputation?
Emma: I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm not important enough to do away with.
Crazy Crazy Killer: Die, Emma, die! *falls off building*
Restell: Do you ever get tired of being wrong?
Emma: Occasionally.
Restell: *smug grin* It's a good thing you're in love with me.
Emma: ....
Restell: .....right?
Emma: Oh, alright.
Restell: Hooray!
Romance Convention Checklist
1 Crazy Spoiled Cousin
1 Negligent Uncle
1 Lacklustre Romantic Rival
2 Attempted Muuuuuuurders
1 Actual Muuuuuurder
2 Forged Paintings
1 Secret Artist
1 Fake Mistress
1 Fake Poor Relation
1 Dead Thug
2 Live Thugs
The Word: This is my second Jo Goodman novel (my first being The Price of Desire), and, as usually happens to me when I read the second books by authors I love at first read, I always find a lot to compare between the first book I've read and the second. If His Kiss Is Wicked, like PoD, is a subtle, slow-burning story with a deep and complicated mystery that unravels deliciously slowly. It has a heroine who, after enduring unspeakable trauma, carries deep-seated and unconscious fears that, if triggered, can cause her to seriously injure others, usually the hero. Also, both novels are slapped with misleadingly bland romance titles and terrible covers. Seriously - the cover to IHKIW is just plain fugly.
But the story? Wonderful. Orphaned Emma Hathaway lives with her uncle (a famous painter), who dotes on her pampered and self-indulgent cousin Marisol. Although Marisol is engaged, she continues to flirt and conduct assignations almost directly underneath her fiance's nose. When Marisol asks Emma to break off one of these relationships in Marisol's place, Emma agrees.
When next we see Emma, she's in the office of Restell Gardner, a gentleman who offers private investigations and protection services in return for favours. Her face is covered with bruises, and she's only barely started the road to recovery (both physically and mentally). As it turns out, on her way to break off Marisol's fling, she was abducted and viciously beaten by strange men. While she managed to escape, she never discovered the identities of her attackers, and her uncle and cousin want to cover everything up to prevent scandal from attaching itself to the family.
Emma, however, has reason to believe her attackers might have been aiming at Marisol instead, and fears that her cousin might still be in danger, so she privately enlists Restell's help. Restell, conceiving an almost immediate soft spot for this battered, but not broken woman, agrees to help, although he's doubtful Marisol was the intended target. During his investigations, he discovers a conspiracy of art forgers, imposters, secret trusts, gambling debts, and murder.
Restell and Emma also end up discovering love, despite their very different personalities. Restell is almost 100% angst-free. He lives a comfortable existance on his generous brother's handouts, and uses his free time to help people, refreshingly lacking the larger-than-life Alpha Male pride that would have made this situation unpalatable to any number of traditional romance heroes. He's cheeky, humorous and mischievous - taking things seriously when necessary, but rarely otherwise.
Emma, however, is his polar opposite. She has a definite can-do attitude, and while her frequent capitulations to her family's oft-selfish whims do shift her close to doormat territory on occasion, she never comes off as a martyr. She always wants to do something, anything, that will give herself a purpose that will finally get her out of the house. While Restell is romantic, clever and dependent - Emma is practical, determined, and proud. And while she has her own sense of pride that is often the only thing that keeps her upright when her subconscious terrors are triggered, she's not above accepting help and admitting when someone else might be right.
Despite the seriousness of Emma's problems, Jo Goodman ably demonstrates why a sly jokester like Restell is the better match for her than someone more serious. Emma already takes things too seriously, oftentimes giving things a greater import than they deserve that can hinder her recovery. The best example for this would be her psychological terrors. Certain triggers, like the sound of something hard tapping against leather or the sight of a Barcelona handkerchief, cause her to react instinctively and violently to defend herself, whether she's in real danger or not. Certain triggers also cause her to have blackouts, leaving her with stretches of time in which she can't remember doing anything. These reactions terrify her into believing she's slowly going mad. She remembers how her uncle had her grandmother institionalized and fears the same might happen to her.
Restell and his lightness help Emma to overcome this. While he's not disrespectful about her fears, his ability to take nearly everything in stride lessens Emma's concerns about her sanity. At one point, Emma starts clawing at her throat when Restell shows her a handkerchief left at the crime scene, and when he tries to stop her, she bites him. Restell calmly pries her teeth out of his hand, and after she calms down, remarks how her reaction - instead of being proof of insanity or weakness of mind - is rather a clue to what happened during her attack. While consciously she remembers nothing of what happened, her subconscious mind clearly does. Ultimately, Emma's mind can only be healed by Emma herself - but Restell's humour, sympathy, trust in her judgement, and treatment of her as an equal are what allow her to cease fixating on her terrors and overcome them.
What's less clear is what Emma offers Restell in return. There are definitely reasons for why Restell falls for Emma - she's brave, witty, determined. But the novel never really provides a reason for why Restell needs Emma, at least the same way Emma needs Restell. It was similar in The Price of Desire, where Olivia had way more problems than Griffin. Both Griffin and Restell are surprisingly well-adjusted heroes - although Griffin did have some personal problems of his own. This wasn't necessarily a problem in If His Kiss Is Wicked. I just find I have a preference for romances where the hero and heroine both bring at least some baggage to the table.
Otherwise, this novel was solid and enjoyable. I was prepared this time for the extreme amounts of dialogue that seem to be a staple of a Jo Goodman novel, and knew to pay attention because a lot of the mystery hinges on the smallest of details and I found that more than once I missed a few things and had to skim back to adjust myself. Despite a few plot holes, the mystery itself was just as engaging as the romance and the ending was truly surprising.
Once again, Jo Goodman impresses, which makes me feel a lot better because I have another 3 of her books on my TBR pile. Her characters are smart and capable, her language is lovely, the dialogue is witty (and plentiful!), and the mystery totally absorbing.
Now if her publisher could only give her better covers and titles.
A-
Alternate Title: How to Lose A Match in Ten Days
The Chick: Emma Woodhouse. Firmly established (in her own mind) as the reigning social queen of the village of Highbury, she takes it upon herself in true noblesse oblige fashion to find suitable matches for all of her friends and followers - particularly her slavish devotee, Harriet Smith.
The Rub: Her longtime friend Mr Knightley disapproves of her manipulations, and believes Harriet has very few realistic chances. Also, for all her ingenuity and energy, her romantic guesses can often fly far short of the mark.
The Dude: George Knightley. A close family friend of the Woodhouses (and brother to Emma's sister's husband), Knightley has known Emma her entire life. Everyone else spoils and pets Emma but he's always been honest with her about her faults.
The Rub: Does his disapproval of Emma and grumpiness towards Emma's crushes mask a more sentimental emotion? Also: age gap!
The Plot:
Emma: Harriet should marry Mr Elton!
Knightley: You're wrong.
Mr Elton: *marries Bitchy McMapleGroveBitchFace*
Emma: ... Harriet should marry Mr Churchill!
Knightley: Wrong again.
Frank Churchill: *announces secret engagement to Jane Fairfax*
Emma: GRRR! This is so unfair! Harriet is much more genteel then people realize, they think she's lower in status just because she's illegitimate! It's degrading to women! She deserves a highborn husband!
Harriet: I heart Knightley!
Emma: YOU BITCH GET YOUR DIRTY LOWBORN HANDS OFF MY MAN!
Knightley: You were saying?
Emma: Fine, go ahead and marry Harriet if you love her so much, see if I care...
Knightley: Wrong again.
Harriet: *marries Robert Martin*
Emma: Hooray!
Romance Convention Checklist
1 Age Gap Between Protagonists (16 years!)
3 Wrong Guesses
4 Romantically Lacklustre Rivals
1 Selfish Hypochondriac Father
1 Secret Engagement
Several Stolen Turkeys
1 Chatty Kathy
The Word: It was very interesting to read Emma when my last Jane Austen novel was Mansfield Park. And considering what I know of the plots of Jane Austen's other novels from their wonderful adaptations, Emma herself seems to be the odd one out in Austen's stable of heroines. Why?
Because she's perfectly comfortable and holds a high standing in society. Unlike Elizabeth who is threatened with poverty thanks to an entailment (Pride & Prejudice), Elinor who's living in reduced circumstances (Sense & Sensibility), Fanny who is the poor relation (Mansfield Park), Anne who is an unmarried spinster (Persuasion), and Catherine who is one of many children of a financially-strapped clergyman (Northanger Abbey), Emma is not only not in any economic danger, but in no social danger either.
She's rich and she's spoiled and she's popular and can get away with doing just about anything, really, which might explain why some readers find her to be the most annoying of Jane Austen's characters, although I strongly disagree.
Emma is essentially the social belle of the small town of Highbury. Comfortably furnished with a handsome fortune, she cares for her needy hypochondriac father and attends parties and nurtures her favourite hobby: matchmaking. The novel opens after the wedding of Jane's governess Miss Taylor to a Mr Weston. The whole town talks about Miss Taylor's advantageous match, and Emma prides herself on the belief that the match was partly her own doing.
However, now that her best friend and confidante has married, Emma needs a new BFF and social project, so she settles on Harriet Smith - a parlour-boarder at the local school with uncertain parentage but extraordinary beauty. Harriet is pretty and good-natured (if a bit dim), and Emma, convinced that Harriet is the daughter of a gentleman, believes Harriet deserves better circumstances than she's had handed to her and starts planning a match between Harriet and the local vicar, Mr Elton.
Mr Knightley becomes involved when he discovers his upright, if lowborn, tenant Robert Martin proposed to Harriet and was refused thanks to Emma's advice. Knightley and Emma enter into an argument about Harriet's future that essentially outlines both characters' strengths and faults and sets the stage for how they change and adapt throughout the novel.
Knightley thinks that because Harriet is illegitimate and stupid, she should take what she's offered and be grateful she was lucky enough to receive an offer at all. He thinks that Emma's ambitions are only setting Harriet up for a fall and that she's trying to pass off a sow's ear as a silk purse. Emma, meanwhile, thinks that Harriet is pretty and kind, that these qualities make her perfectly suited to be anyone's wife, and that she deserves a chance to play the field the same as anyone else (well, almost anyone else).
What makes this argument interesting is that Emma's rejection of the social strictures that make Harriet inferior doesn't mean she rejects all social boundaries. The truth is that Emma sets and abides by her own social standards - in her mind, anyone who is her friend is automatically worthy of status, while those who annoy and frustrate her are lower in status. And, naturally, this makes Emma the highest in status of all, in her own mind. This explains how she believes Harriet's illegitimacy shouldn't pose an obstacle to her match with Mr Elton, but when Mr Elton reveals his affections for Emma, she's outraged that he'd presume to believe a clergyman worthy of marrying the great Miss Emma Woodhouse. While it seems to be a very hypocritical view at first, it's consistent.
However, most of Knightley's predictions do come to pass. When Mr Elton turns out to be a dud, Emma fixes on a number of other matches (such as Mr Weston's son Frank Churchill) only to be proven wrong again and again. However, even though Emma turns out to be frequently wrong it doesn't mean that Knightley's character remains unchanged.
Emma is an engaging and refreshing 19th century character. She can get away with distorted and personalized views of Society because she's in no position to be cast out of it - she's wealthy, landed, and established. This also means, of course, that she's often haughty, conceited, spoiled, and self-important. I adored her.
I found myself relating to her on a number of levels, for all her flaws. Why I mentioned Mansfield Park at the beginning of this review is that Emma is the exact opposite of MP's Fanny Price - she speaks her mind, often far too much, and loves being the centre of attention (and resents when she isn't). Her dislike of Jane Fairfax is childish and entirely believable - even Emma can't come up with a really good reason why she hates Jane, other than the fact that Jane is a bit of a cold fish, socially speaking, and that everyone who's making a fuss over Jane is not making a fuss over Emma. I've sometimes found I dislike and attempt to avoid people who have certain tics that annoy me, and I do resent not being the centre of attention sometimes. I found that while Emma is haughty and often oblivious, she's honest about herself and will go to great lengths to help those she loves.
What Emma essentially learns at the end of the novel is that her own special view of the world is not always accurate or helpful. Her assumptions about Jane, Harriet, and herself have to be modified by the book's end. Her biggest change comes with her view of Robert Martin - she initially wants to keep him and the Martins away from Harriet because she believes their society would be degrading to Harriet. She thinks him a dirty, unmannered farmer and is honestly surprised that his letter of proposal to Harriet is well-written!
However, as Emma gradually realizes when her plans for Harriet and Elton fall through - her own level of society isn't exactly beneficial to Harriet either. Harriet's tossed about like an emotional rag doll quite a bit in this novel, and Emma comes to recognize that higher-class doesn't always mean better. Her actions result in severe emotional pain and humiliation for Harriet, and force Emma to admit that she might not know what's best. At the end of the novel, when Harriet marries Robert Martin, Emma is relieved, because she finally realizes that marrying a man who adores her is the best thing for Harriet, rather than marrying a man who could elevate her in a society that didn't treat her well to begin with.
Amusingly enough, Knightley comes to the exact same realization (higher class isn't necessarily better), but through a different chain of events. Just as Emma has to rethink her assumptions about Robert Martin, Knightley has to reconsider his assumptions about Harriet. He initially dismisses her out of hand because she's poor, illegitimate and dim. However, because Harriet is always around Emma, Knightley has to get to know her as well.
His epiphany hits home when Elton returns from Bath with a nasty, arrogant, and vulgar wife. Despite Mrs Elton's extreme unpleasantness, she's Harriet's social superior - but Knightley has to concede that Harriet would have made Elton the better wife. Throughout the novel Knightley gradually warms towards Harriet and treats her with greater respect, culminating in a wonderful scene where he asks Harriet to dance after Mr Elton publicly snubs her.
But, whatever Harriet might eventually think, Knightley has eyes only for Emma. Despite the age gap between the two, they are well suited for each other and while Emma's realization about her feelings for Knightley occurs rather suddenly and late in the book, Jane Austen does a good job of setting up how close the two are and how poorly they'd do without each other. Emma needs Knightley because he's the only one who's honest with her - he doesn't spoil her or placate her like her other friends do, and if she acts out of turn he will take her to task for it, while loving her anyway. Knightley needs Emma because oftentimes he can be too cynical and distrustful of people at the outset, and he requires a shot of Emma's tendency to see the best in people every once in a while to hold his pessimism in check.
That being said, while I enjoyed this book more than Mansfield Park, and was much more satisfied with the ending, this book did become a bit of a slog. It's very long (the longest of Jane Austen's novels), the plot tends to meander, and I felt it could have done with some editing. After the halfway point I admit I found myself in the "reading really fast to get to the end already" phase, and the pacing sagged up until the end.
B.
I am! The Romance Writers of America's National Conference in Washington, DC is coming up in a little over three weeks, and I'm super excited - not only for the workshops, not only for the literacy booksigning, not only for the goody room, but also to meet any of my blogger friends who are going!
If you're going to RWA Nationals in DC - why not leave a comment? Maybe we could even meet up!
If you aren't going, but you've gone before - what was your favourite part of the conference? What would you recommend?
If you're a Washington native - what cool things are there to see in DC?
Alternate Title: Miss Piggy Takes Manhattan
The Chick: Penelope Wilhern. Born under a curse that left her with the face of a pig, Penelope has lived an isolated life in her family's elaborate mansion, waiting for the time when her curse could be cured by marriage to one of her own kind (that is, a blueblood).
The Rub: She's spent so much time waiting to be married and free of the curse, all the while keeping herself hidden away so as not to embarrass her lauded family, she hasn't had the chance to live a life of her own.
Casting: Christina Ricci.
The Dude: Max Campion. A down-on-his-luck gambling addict, he's hired by an ambitious reporter who wants Max, the blue-blooded scion of the once-esteemed Campion family, to offer himself as Penelope's suitor in order to snap a picture of her and prove her existence to the tabloids.
The Rub: Max doesn't intend to fall in love with Penelope, but he can't marry her because he has a secret past that makes him unworthy of her.
Casting: James McAvoy.
The Plot:
Penelope: Hey! Anyone want to marry me and break the curse?
Suitor #1: *flees*
Suitor #2: *jumps out a window*
Max Campion: Hey, you're nice.
Penelope: Let's get married!
Max: Uhhhh, exit stage left! *flees*
Penelope: Oh fuck this. I'm out! *leaves home* *lives life* *gets famous*
Penelope: *poof!* Well hey, I cured myself!
Max/Johnny: Sorry I couldn't marry you, but I couldn't have fixed your curse.
Penelope: No worries. Still wanna get married?
Johnny: Hell yes!
Penelope: Hooray!
Romance Convention Checklist
1 If not Totally Bad, Than At Least Morally Dark Grey Parent
1 Intrepid, One-Eyed, Little Person Reporter
1 Centuries-Old Curse
Several Cowardly Suitors
1 Sprinting Butler
1 Punky Best Friend
1 Hidden Camera
1 Lacklustre Romantic Rival
The Word: Oh, how I loved this film. I'm a fan of fairy-tales, you see, in nearly all their forms and versions, and Penelope is a movie that unabashedly bases itself on fairy tales while keeping to rules of its own. The story is thus:
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Penelope Wilhern. Penelope was born under a curse cast on the Wilhern family centuries ago - she was born with the face of a pig, and only by uniting herself with one of her own kind could the curse be broken. Her parents, members of the kingly Wilhern family, figured this meant that if a young man as blue-blooded and aristocratic as Penelope herself would agree to marry her, despite her looks, then Penelope would be free and the Wilhern name would no longer be disgraced.
Penelope grew up alone in her parents' mansion, waiting for the day a handsome prince would agree to marry her. Once Penelope came of age, her parents hired a matchmaker and suitor after impeccably-bred suitor was brought before her. Despite Penelope's charm, intellect, and enormous dowry, suitor after suitor fled in terror.
One of those suitors, a slimy prince named Edward Vanderman (Simon Woods), tried to go public about the Wilhern's "pigfaced monster" but was denounced as a fool and a lunatic. To recover his good name, he and an intrepid reporter named Lemon (Peter Dinklage) hired Max Campion, an impoverished gambling addict who was nevertheless as indigo-blooded as they come, to offer himself as a potential suitor in order to take a picture of Penelope with a hidden camera and prove her existence to the world.
However, once the luckless prince met the ugly princess, love bloomed quickly and unexpectedly. Even more unexpectedly, once Penelope stepped out from behind the one-way glass and revealed hereself, Max didn't run away. However, Max refused to take her hand in marriage, and fled - albeit not before smashing the hidden camera and destroying all evidence. Penelope was heartbroken.
However - despite her heartbreak, Penelope has an epiphany. Her conversations with Max revealed a whole world she'd never seen, a whole world she'd been missing because she'd been too busy hiding in her mansion and waiting for someone else to come and decide her fate. Wrapping a scarf around her remarkable nose, she escapes her mansion for the first time to live her own life.
This delightful, gorgeously-shot, and romantic movie asks the question: what if Cinderella put down her mop? What if Rapunzel climbed down out of her tower? What if the fairy tale princess wanted to discover what life was like without a prince or a cure or a spell to help her?
This movie answers all those questions with style and flair. Penelope, as played by Christina Ricci, is an engaging character. While she's honest about herself and how she looks, she knows she deserves better reactions than the ones she normally gets - and she's also not above doing whatever it takes to survive on her own (even if it involves selling photos of herself to the press to make ends meet) and away from her parents.
And her parents - her father (played wonderfully by Richard E Grant) is loving and supportive, but her mother ... Well, let's just say that if anyone is this movie's villain, it would be her. Played with nice comedic timing by Catherine O'Hara, while Jessica Wilhern loves her daughter Penelope and ultimately means well, to her, it's all about appearances. It becomes clear in the movie that she cares more about her daughter's face (and how it reflects on the Wilhern family name), than her daughter herself. It gets to the point where she would rather marry Penelope off to a slimeball blueblood who hates her so long as Jessica finally gets the perfect daughter she can show off in public.
And James McAvoy - well, let's just say he makes a (dare I say it?) perfectly charming prince. The film does a good job of indicating his gambling addiction and his self-loathing before his encounter with Penelope inspires him to change his ways. He takes the job the reporter offers because he needs the money to gamble, but when he's offered the girl he loves, coupled with her enormous fortune, he still has the strength of mind to do the right thing and say no. One of the main "twists" of the movie (SPOILERS) is that it turns out he isn't Max Campion. Mistaken for his gambling partner, our hero is really Johnny Martin - the son of a humble plumber. He knows (or thinks he knows) that Penelope needs to marry a blueblood in order to break the curse and he can't bear the thought of letting his selfish feelings for Penelope destroy her dream.
The set design and direction of the movie all contribute to give the film a trippy, colourful and absurdist tone that suits the fairy-tale aspect of the story perfectly. It's a bit like the late and lamented Pushing Daisies that way. Colours are big and bright, reactions are exaggerated, situations are amplified - and all without losing emotional weight and resonance. Visually speaking, Penelope is pure eye-candy. Writing-wise, it's brain-candy. Romance-wise, it's heart-candy.
I want candy. You want candy. See this movie.
A
