Gossamer Obsessions

The Chick: Lady Lucinda Abernathy. The plainer friend of the beautiful, accomplished Hermione Watson, Lucy's used to being overlooked, so she has no problem helping Gregory Bridgerton win Hermione's hand away from an unsuitable paramour.
The Rub: Lucy has no problem, that is, until she starts to fall in love with Gregory in the process.
Dream Casting: Laura Carmichael.

The Dude: Gregory Bridgerton. He's always known that he'll be able to identify his One True Love on sight - and he does! It's Hermione Watson!
The Rub: But what's a man to do when his One True Love doesn't return his feelings? Get help from her BFF - her surprisingly witty, kind, graceful, lovely BFF...
Dream Casting: Charlie Cox.

The Plot:

Gregory: Some day my prince - er, princess will come, someday I'll find my love...

Shaft of Light: *falls on Hermione Watson*

Hermione: Why, hello -

Gregory: A DREAM IS A WISH YOUR HEART MAKES.

Hermione: Cool. I'mma go talk to anyone else as far away from you as I can get.

Gregory: *heart crushed*

Lucy: Easy, tiger. Let me give you a few tips.

Gregory: Okay!

Lucy and Gregory: *love training montage*

Hermione: Hey, guess what! I just got compromised by Lucy's brother so now I'm heading offstage since I've rendered myself irrelevant to the storyline! Byyyyyeeeee!

Gregory: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? I suddenly want to make out with a random person in a jealous rage!

Lucy: I like the sound of that!

Gregory and Lucy: *le kiss*

Lucy: BTW I'm secretly in love with you. But I'm ten minutes late for my evil-uncle-arranged marriage to my future gay husband! Ta, darling!

Gregory: Wow, now I'm secretly in love with you. Back off, evil uncle and future gay husband!

Evil Uncle and Future Gay Husband, respectively: Cool.

Lucy: HOORAY!

Romance Convention Checklist

1 Missed Love At First Sight

1 Evil Uncle

1 Daaaaark Secret

1 Use of Bondage (non-sexy variety)

1 Secret Gay Fiance

1 Raging Annoyance of a Little Sister (GO AWAY, HYACINTH)

1 Love of Bacon

The Word: Before we move on to the body of the review, let's have a little Bridgerton Recap:

Book 1: Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah, Eh-Eh-Eh-Eh-Eh, Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-ee-Oh, Duke Is Stutterin'.
Bridgerton: Daphne
Grade: B+
Pros: Angst, nice heroine. Cons: Hero's motivations are sketchy at best.

Book 2: "I Like My Women the Way I Like My Father - COVERED IN BEES!"
Bridgerton: Anthony
Grade: A-
Pros: Excellent use of themes, better use of story structure. Cons: Beautiful heroine who refuses to believe she is beautiful - a turn-off for me.

Book 3: An Offer from a Gentleman (my favourite in the series)
Bridgerton: Benedict
Grade: A
Pros: Subtle beta hero, lovely fairy tale premise. Cons: Benedict's mum is okay letting her son's mistress serve her daughters? Really?

Book 4: Rakish McCryingOnTheInside and Penelope NosyGossip-BodyIssues.
Bridgerton: Colin
Grade: B
Pros: Good humour, interesting conflict. Cons: Lame pay-off for over-hyped Bridgerton character. Heroine is too cutesy.

Book 5: How To Terrify Your Family, Seduce a Man and Tame His Demon-Spawn Children, All In Three Easy Steps.
Bridgerton: Eloise
Grade: B-
Pros: Interesting hero and hero issues, relateable (somewhat) heroine. Cons: While relateable, heroine is still ANNOYING beyond all reason. Also: demon-spawn children.

Book 6: My Best Friend's Girl
Bridgerton: Francesca
Grade: B+
Pros: Friends-to-lovers conflict, believable love-at-first sight story. Cons: Wishy-washy heroine.

Book 7: Don't Read this One, or, How a Crazy Manic Pixie Dream Girl Gets Everything She Wants While Everyone Works Around her Crazy.
Bridgerton: Hyacinth
Grade: C-
Pros: It's written in grammatically-correct English. Cons: You'll want to set the heroine on fire.

So On The Way To the Wedding already begins on a high note for the simple fact that it's not Hyacinth's book (although *sigh* she does make a number of ill-advised appearances). As well, Hyacinth's book and the comments of my friendly Tweeples lowered my expectations to such an ebb that I was actually pleasantly surprised by this novel. While it's still not Julia Quinn's best (that remains An Offer from a Gentleman) it is a far lovelier tale than Hyacinth's hot mess of a tale.

Gregory, the youngest Bridgerton son, has always believed in true love - how could he not? Lightning already struck 7 times in his family, so it's reasonable to assume it could happen an 8th time. He's convinced that he'll immediately know The One on sight, and until that time he's content to live a privileged, irresponsible, rootless existence eating sandwiches at his siblings' fancy parties.

It is at one such house party that he meets The One: Hermione Watson, the darling of the ton. However, despite Gregory's determined advances, Hermione - gasp! - doesn't appear to share his feelings. However, he gains an ally in Hermione's (slightly plainer) BFF Lucy Abernathy. Lucy is a veteran observer of the various types of "true love" crushed by Hermione's innocent indifference. Having recently discovered Hermione's inappropriate fondness for her father's secretary, Lucy is now quite invested in herding Hermione's heart towards a more socially-equal subject, and she agrees to help Gregory win Hermione's hand in marriage.

Of course, nothing does go according to plan in a Julia Quinn novel. Thankfully, Quinn saves the histrionic drama for the third act and builds the first and second on the layered, believable protagonists and their (thankfully!) angstless blossoming romance. Lucy is a wonderful heroine. Rational, ordered and pragmatic (perhaps a little too much for her own good), her romantic and sexual awakening is sweet and realistic. Despite her growing love for Gregory, she needs to build and develop her own needs and desires and priorities before she's able to reach out and take a risk.

Gregory's character is more subtle. He was never really much of a presence in the earlier books - he was usually a child or away at Eton. In fact, both he and Francesca feel like the Odd Bridgertons Out, simply because so many of their siblings (including *sigh* Hyacinth) make a point of popping in and out of each other's books, whereas they do not - Francesca, in fact, is never referenced again after her own book. But Gregory actually feels like the Odd Bridgerton - born ten years after the youngest of his brothers, he never had the close brofest Anthony, Benedict, and Colin had. And his upbringing (realistic for 19th century England) kept him from wholly connecting with his sisters as well.

While his character, as a whole, left less of an impact on me than Lucy, the motivations for his personality and lifestyle are sound, believable, and surprisingly undramatic - and I always appreciate well-adjusted characters whose foibles are simply theirs, and not a result of a traumatic accident or shady past.

That being said, the third act does veer a little into Crazytown, but on the whole, it's a pleasant drive to Crazytown. The pressure (however silly and far-fetched the dramatic "twist" is) puts the character development both Gregory and Lucy have undergone to excellent use and their reactions to their predicament are entertaining and romantic (for the most part - Gregory loses points for a stunt involving hand restraints and a toilet).

On the whole, however, On the Way to the Wedding is a surprisingly quiet note to end an eight-book series on. Unlike most other romance series, Julia Quinn did not save the last book for the angstiest, darkest, or most mysterious character. She doesn't reveal any shocking revelations about the Bridgerton family. In fact, most of the Bridgertons keep their happily-wedded noses out of this story (barring the occasional throwaway reference) a fact for which I am very grateful. I'm not sure exactly why, except for his age, Gregory was left for last. Either way, it was a perfectly pleasant novel, and a nice addition to an overall entertaining series.
B+

The Heroine: Katniss Everdeen, the Girl on Fire - a.k.a. "The Mockingjay." Due to her actions in both of her Hunger Games, she is now the face of a revolution that could finally topple the tyranny of the Capitol.
Her Angst: Her face, unfortunately, is more important than her actual actions - her handlers are more concerned with keeping her in the limelight than actually having her fight or help.

The Secondary Cast:

Gale: Katniss' right-hand man and a highly-ranked soldier in District 13's war with the Capitol.

Peeta: Currently in Capitol custody, probably under torture, thanks to the rebels' failure to rescue him from the Quarter Quell.

President Alma Coin: The leader of District 13, she's willing to use Katniss as the figurehead of the rebellion, but she's got a personal agenda of her own when it comes to the war and the future of Panem.

Prim: Katniss' sister - now training as a medic to help the rebel cause.

Finnick: One of the former victors of the Hunger Games to survive the Quarter Quell with Katniss. While definitely an ally, he's still recuperating mentally and physically from his ordeal.

Johanna: Another former victor. Mayor of Bald Crazy-Through-Torture Town.

The Word: I didn't like this book.

No, I didn't like this book - and the strong start of The Hunger Games is partly to blame. The first novel created a heroine of such strength and determination, that it made her lack of agency in this book that much harder to swallow. I was less tolerant of the flaws of this book because I knew how good it could be, and was frustrated when it wasn't.

District 12 is in ruins after being firebombed by the Capital, and Katniss is now living in District 13, the "secret" district that rebuilt itself underground after being nuked by the Capital years ago. The people of this district, however, are ready to come out of hiding and end the rule of President Snow once and for all - and they want Katniss to be the Mockingjay, the face of the revolution that everyone in the world instantly recognizes.

And I have no problem with that. The actual worldbuilding in The Hunger Games trilogy is pretty shaky - its strong point has always been how it explores the social aspect of government-sanctioned violence. In Mockingjay, Katniss' image is just as important as it was in the first book, as footage of her fighting Capital troops can stir up the people when released to the media at the correct moment. It also means, however, that Katniss' handlers are eager to put her in the spotlight but loathe to send into her into actual danger.

This would be fine if this was just the introduction of the novel, but the first, oh, 70% of Mockingjay is a) Katniss being moved to a strategic point and acting like a good obedient puppet (albeit one with angsty thoughts), b) something going drastically wrong, ending with a minor character dying in a ridiculously over-the-top way, or c) Katniss doing something stupid and winding up in the hospital for pages and pages after, and the cycle restarts anew.

The remaining 30%, of course, is a wildly inventive, fast-pasted, gratuitously violent and heartbreaking climax that, if you've carried any emotional investment at all for any of the characters, will tear you inside out. If only the lead up to it was less sluggish and boring. And if only Katniss had more control over it. Much like Catching Fire, Katniss is removed from the majority of the major action in the novel. Until the last third of the novel, it still felt like the real story was happening off-screen and we just had to experience it third-hand from Katniss' handlers.

And through it all, Katniss is just trying to keep the pieces together. In the case of Mockingjay, I think the realism Collins tried to impart onto her narrative actually hindered how I enjoyed the book. Katniss deals with repeated traumas in a very understandable and realistic way - she is put through the physical and emotional and psychological wringer. She is butchered and burned and cut up and abandoned and frequently suicidal and witness to countless atrocities.

But the constant pressure lends her character a note of tedium. I wondered who she really was when she wasn't busy reacting to something awful. The one time she is asked to make a significant choice about Panem's future (near the end, with her vote being the deciding one), she goes with a choice that made me instantly lose all respect for her. I wondered, Is this the person she really is? and realized I still wasn't completely sure.

BUT WHAT DOES THIS BOOK DO RIGHT? Well, for starters - the love triangle. I have very shifty, Twilight-fail-created feelings about love triangles. Too often, they involve either a) a girl, the Perfect Guy, and the Obvious Asshole or b) a girl, the Perfect Guy, and A Nice, Decent, Well-Adjusted Guy Who's Just Not Bad/Vampirey Enough.

But Gale and Peeta are two of the best-developed love interests I have come across in fiction. Neither of them is the obviously wrong or obviously right choice. They both come from different worlds and upbringings and contribute their own unique takes to the world. Gale is the revolutionary. Peeta is the diplomat. Honestly, Gale has the balls to force a change in the horrid status quo, but Peeta has the smarts and social far-sightedness to make that change stick. Gale is the lifelong friend. Peeta is the obstacle turned ally.

And finally, they both love and (more importantly!) respect Katniss. There's refreshingly little dick-waving or "YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE" moments. I really enjoyed that. Neither of them tried to force the issue or guilt Katniss. And I have to say, while I agreed with Katniss' ultimate choice, I really, genuinely liked both boys as independent characters, not just as love interests.

Okay, so I didn't really like the experience of reading Mockingjay. It was tedious and frustrating for the most part, and the ending, while cathartic, seemed a little rushed and random. However, as the final entry in the series, it's a fascinating endpoint. The trilogy as a whole is a creative and engaging examination of cultural morality, social media, organized violent sports, and how good intentions in the wrong hands can lead to bad ends.

Mockingjay by itself: C+

The Hunger Games Trilogy: B+

The Chick: Lady Anna Margaret Dalrymple, a.k.a. "Margaret Lowell." When her father is exposed as a bigamist by an opportunistic fifth cousin, she and her brothers lose their social status and their ability to inherit, leaving them penniless bastards.
The Rub: This same fifth cousin seems to be the only one in the world who believes Margaret has personal value, independent of family or wealth.
Dream Casting: Ginnifer Goodwin.

The Dude: Ye Shall Tread Down The Wicked, For They Shall Be Ashes Under the Soles Of Your Feet Turner - a.k.a. "Ash Turner." He finally gets the chance to exact vengeance upon the duke who abandoned his family to poverty when he discovers the peer's secret first marriage.
The Rub: His vengeance unexpectedly winds up hurting the one woman he's come to care for the most.
Dream Casting: Rob James-Collier.

The Plot:

Ash: ALL YOUR DUKEDOM ARE BELONG TO ME.

Old Duke: LOL, I'm dying, I don't care!

Margaret: I DO.

Ash: Wow, you're hot. We should date.

Margaret: Wait, what? NO.

Ash: But I respect your mind!

Margaret: No!

Ash: But I'm secretly illiterate and all torn up and angsty over that fact!

Margaret: ... okay!

Richard, Margaret's Asstastic Brother: Hands off my sister!

Ash: Wait, WHAT? ... actually I'm pretty cool with that.

Margaret: Yay!

Ash: But I'm still going to get the dukedom and condemn your brothers to a life of impoverished bastardy. They deserve it, you see, because they picked on my brothers in school and I would do anything to protect my brothers.

Margaret: But that's what I'M doing!

Ash: No no no - trying to protect your brothers is silly and sentimental because your brothers are ignorant and hurtful.

Margaret: ... so are yours!

Ash: Yes but MY brothers get sequels. So as you can clearly see, my problems are more important than yours. Let's get married!

Margaret: No thanks.

Richard: BTW, Margaret, we're only filing for our own legitimacy, not yours, because otherwise we'd lose everything!

Margaret: FUCK THIS NOISE. Take the Dukedom, Ashy! Let's get married!

Ash: HOORAY!

Margaret: ... but you still have to be nice to my brothers.

Ash: Crud.

Romance Convention Checklist:

1 Revenge Plot

4 Inconsiderate Brothers

1 Very Bad Mutha (deceased)

1 Fairly Good Mutha (also deceased)

1 Very Bad Dad (still alive, for the nonce)

1 Secret Disability

1 Bout of Sex in a Closet

The Word: The book starts shortly after the hero utterly ruins the heroine's life - and ends up redeeming it, in the process.

The hero, Ash Turner, blames the death of his sister and his brothers' poverty and sufferings on the selfishness of the Duke of Parford and his weak, spoiled sons. When he discovers the Duke secretly married his mistress as a young man years before publicly marrying his current one, Ash gains a twofold vengeance when he exposes the Duke's bigamy to the ecclesiastical courts - it renders the Duke's despised sons illegitimate and unable to inherit, and it leaves Ash (the closest legitimate relative) as the legal heir.

However, the Duke of Parford also has a daughter, Lady Anna Margaret. Thanks to Ash's exposure of her father's first marriage, she was stripped of her title, outcast from society, and abandoned by all her friends. Because of that, Margaret is determined to do whatever she can to help her brothers' quest to convince Parliament to restore their legitimacy. When Ash travels to the Duke's country estate, Margaret stays on in the guise of a nurse to the ailing Duke - partly to protect her father from any attempt on Ash's part to inherit sooner, and partly to spy and gather intel she can pass on to her brothers, to convince Parliament that Mr. Turner is an unfit addition to the House of Lords.

Her plans go awry when Ash spots her and is instantly attracted. An intelligent, intuitive businessman who made a fortune in India, Ash has learned to trust his instincts above anything else. He sees Margaret and immediately intuits that she is a woman of substance, and starts treating her as such as he tries to seduce her.

Ash's method of seduction is clever as well as sweet. There is a twisty, reversed aristocrat-commoner vibe between the two of them. Margaret is accustomed to the life of a peer, and has been raised to believe that names, wealth, and titles are emblematic of one's worth as a person - so she is very disturbed when Ash continues to pursue her and find value in her despite the fact that he knows nothing of her name, family, or history. Because of that, she discovers her own strengths and talents only after losing everything she initially thought was important about herself.

Ash is an equally interesting character. Thanks to a learning disability, he relies on his personality, confidence, and quick wit to conduct business, but at the same time he is taunted by his shortcomings, torn by the belief that his proud, brash face is all he is capable of offering to the world. This increasingly comes into play when he interacts with his university-educated brothers - he paid for their educations in order to make up for the privations they endured as children, but as a result, he feels isolated and inferior around them.

Honestly, the only real problem I had with this novel was the continuation of the revenge plot. As I've stated before in other articles, there is a thin line to walk when writing a vengeful hero or heroine. I mean, most romance novels ultimately tell us that Revenge is Wrong and we should just Forgive and Love Everybody, but it all boils down to how far the hero takes it and why he's pursuing this revenge in the first place. Ultimately, I didn't buy it with Ash:

1. He's already wealthy as sin and his brothers are already provided for.
2. He doesn't even respect the prestige that comes with a Dukedom ANYWAY, so why is he screwing up so many lives to get one?
   
3. His revenge creates a LOT of collateral damage for people who either didn't hurt him (Margaret and her mother) or only in the most petty of ways (he's essentially ruining Margaret's brothers' lives because they were mean to his bros in HIGH SCHOOL)
4. He continues to actively try and ruin the Dalrymple's lives EVEN AFTER HE KNOWS WHO MARGARET IS because he'll just marry Margaret which will totally fix her life because protecting his brothers is an important and righteous man-problem but Margaret protecting her brothers is a weak and sentimental woman-problem.

Yes. I had a LOT of problems with how the revenge plot got dragged out to the very bitter end, but otherwise, this was a thoughtful and beautifully written novel. I loved the author's inversion of the master-servant, aristocrat-commoner trope. I enjoyed her ambiguous characterization (particularly Margaret's family - who aren't the good guys in any real shape or form but they're not evil, either). I particularly loved Ash's intellectual seduction of Margaret - I'm growing increasingly tired of novels where the hero's seduction amounts to little more than the hero sexually harassing the heroine despite her protests until she inevitably gives in, but Ash courts Margaret on an emotional and mental level that was very chivalrous and incredibly sexy.

B+

Dearest readers,

Thank you for putting up my with my reading slowness. I have been trying to bring my reading speed back up to snuff, with limited success.

In project news, I have put my gender-reversed Snow White retelling in a box under the bed, metaphorically-speaking. It's had its run, I wrote it both as a Regency romance and as a YA, but it kind of flamed out and I'd like to work on other projects and come back to it when the passion does.


In other news, I have registered to attend Book Expo America and its accompanying BEA Bloggers Conference! I've just heard so much about how awesome it is from The Booksmugglers and Katiebabs and The Story Siren, on top of the fact that I looooooove NYC, on top of the OTHER fact that the registration is like a million bajillion times cheaper than RWA National, ON TOP OF ALL THE OTHER FACTS that it's about all genres of books, I decided to go!

I registered for both and, most recently, bought a ticket to the Children's Book and Author Breakfast when I found out it's being MC'd by Chris "I Wrote TV Pilots, Children's Novels, and Coming-Of-Age Movies While Filming Glee No Big Deal" Colfer, John "The Fault In Our Stars Looks Really Good, Especially Because The Plot Doesn't Revolve Around a Crazy Unattainable Manic Pixie Dream Girl" Green, and Lois "I Cried So Hard When The Dad Put The Baby In the Cardboard Box In The Giver" Lowry. Eeeee! So excited!

So that's what you missed with my life. I'm off to go read Mockingjay.

The Protagonists:

Yael: When her mother died in childbirth, her father raised her to believe she is cursed, already a murderess. When the destruction of the Temple forces them into the desert, she discovers how strong a person she really is.

Revka: With her husband and daughter murdered by the Romans, she arrived at Masada with her life in tatters, trailing two mute grandsons and a maddened son-in-law who lives only for pain. Believing her life is already over, she is astounded to learn there still is hope, even in the bleakest of times.

Aziza: Born a girl, she was taught by her mother Shirah to assume a boy's life in order to protect herself and her family. Here in Masada, she finds her woman's duties clash with her boy's warrior instincts.

Shirah: Raised in the ways of a now-outlawed Jewish cult, she is distrusted and despised as a witch, and yet will still provide aid and assistance to those who ask. While her spells can bring about fantastic change, she's also seen her fate (and the fate of her children) and knows that escaping it will be next to impossible.

The Secondary Cast:

Amram: Yael's brother and Aziza's lover. He is a warrior for the Zealot cause, but even he can be led astray by love.

The Man from the Valley: Revka's scholarly son-in-law. When his wife was brutally violated and murdered, he dedicated himself to a life of violence and self-inflicted pain, running into battle heedless of injury or death.

The Man from the North: A Welsh soldier forcibly conscripted by the Romans and then enslaved by the warriors of Masada, he befriends the women of the dove cote - Yael in particular.

Eleazar Ben Ya'ir: The leader of the rebels of Masada - he spurs and leads them on to victory with his persuasive speeches. But he is still only a man beneath all that glory.

The Word: Really, there are both too many and too few words I could use to describe Alice Hoffman and the effect her writing has on me. Her magnificent use of setting, and character, and magical realism can make every story come alive in a different way. She's one of the few authors whose books I can become fully-immersed in. I haven't reviewed too many of her books (or at least, as a whole review), because even a year ago I was still determined to be a "romance" blog. Now, I'm more of a book blog that leans strongly towards romance and YA but I'll still read just about anything and review it, too.

I went into this book with equal parts eagerness and curiosity - curiosity mainly because this is an historical novel, whereas all the other books of hers I've read have been set in modern times - well, her novels anyway. She's had a story collection or two where it started in an historical period, but never as far back as this. I wondered how she would incorporate her magical grasp of setting and description into an environment as distant and exotic as this one (Judea, circa 70 A.D.).

The Dovekeepers is a story about Masada - the fortress that protected Jewish rebels and their families from invading Roman forces for four years after the fall of the Temple in Jerusalem - told through the eyes of four women who helped cared for the doves whose leavings kept the fortress' gardens and orchards fertile. These four women detail how life brought each of them to the fortress in the desert and how life in that confined, arid place changed them, for better or worse.

The novel is divided into quarters, each told from a different woman's viewpoint, a tactic I enjoyed. Yael's story begins first - as she spends the most time wandering around in the desert with her father before finding the fortress. Yael was raised to believe she was worthless, but she discovers her true worth once she and her father are left to fend for themselves, and she brings that strength with her to the fortress, where in the presence of other women she blossoms even more.

Revka's portion comes next. Her story deals in themes of hope and renewal, just as when all seems lost. She lost nearly everything she cared about in her journey to Masada, but it's with the other women in the dove cote that she learns to cherish and find joy in what little she has left.

Aziza's portion of the book examines gender. As Roman forces begin to gather in earnest as Masada becomes the last holdout against total occupation, Aziza struggles with both her feminine and her masculine identities. She is a sister and a daughter and a lover, but despite a law that forbids it, she is also a warrior and cannot stand idly by with the women while their brothers and cousins and husbands are dying.

Shirah's part comes last, which is fitting. She's the most mysterious character, and the one who offers the most opportunities for Alice Hoffman's lovely is-or-isn't-it-real magical thinking. Women with supernatural abilities are a prominent theme in a lot of Hoffman's books (Practical Magic, The Probable Future, The Ice Queen) and this comes across more potently in this particular setting, when religion and superstition had far more influence. Shirah is definitely a descendent (or, ha ha, in this particular instance, an ancestor) of the aunts from Practical Magic - distrusted by other women for being the Witch of Moab, she is still approached by them in their times of need for her cures and spells. But even as she helps women (and she performs special favours for all three of the other protagonists), she's also a woman with fears and desires and flaws of her own.

As each protagonist gets her point of view, we also get to see the other three through a new lens, and the result is a multi-layered portrayal of female friendship and support during a time of crisis. While male characters do wander in and out, and a few lay claim to our heroines' hearts, the changing viewpoints keeps the focus on the women. The men often find themselves struggling to find space in the heroines' stories, rather than the other way around and I found that highly refreshing.

As I mentioned earlier in my review, Alice Hoffman's fantastic description gives life at Masada heat and smoke and smell. The woman who described different types of rain in The Probable Future, here gives us a world dictated by heat and water, and the overabundance and scarcity of both. Her use of imagery and symbolism is marvelous - the very nature of the protagonists' job creates a fantastic contrast of themes. Masada, a stronghold of warriors and rebels, is mainly sustained by the contributions of gentle, beautiful birds that are symbols of peace. If not for these birds, the orchards would die and the warriors and all their talk of blood and freedom would waste away.

The Dovekeepers is fantastic book - with a strong feminine focus, memorable characters, gorgeous description, and lyrical writing that produces hope and light even in the face of an inevitably tragic event.
A+

The Chick: Emma Darlington Hotchkiss. A former con artist-turned-sheep farmer, she puts her old skills to good use to fleece an arrogant aristocrat who kills her lamb and refuses to compensate her.
The Rub: Unfortunately, she gets caught - and now this high and mighty viscount wants her to use her skills to scam his larcenous uncle. Or else.
Dream Casting: Emily VanCamp.

The Dude: Stuart Aysgarth, Viscount Mount Villiers. A sexually dominant, but financially-restricted aristocrat who wants revenge against his uncle for stealing priceless heirlooms from him.
The Rub: He can blackmail a tasty little con artist into helping in his schemes, but not into having sex with him. Damn!
Dream Casting: Richard Armitage.

The Plot:

Emma: You killed my lamb!

Stuart: Don't care. Hey! You stole 50 pounds from me!

Emma: Don't care!

Stuart: *ties Emma to chair* You were saying?

Emma: Okay, I care very much now.

Stuart: Sharing is caring!

Emma and Stuart: *uncomfortable-sounding chair sex*

Stuart: Awesome! Now we can be sex friends and you can help me steal shit from my uncle!

Emma: NO!

Stuart: No to the con-artist deal or no to the sex-friends thing?

Emma: NO TO EVERYTHING.

Stuart: Well then I'll just have you arrested!

Emma: ...fine!

Stuart: Yaaaaaaaaaaaay! Sex friends! And con artistry.

Cons: *are had*

Emma: Bee tee dubs, I'm framing you for assault so I can get away and hide my tempestuous secret emotions!

Stuart: BOO! But I was going to marry you!

Emma: SHIT.

Stuart: S'all good. Now you can be my sex wife!

Emma: HOORAY!

Romance Convention Checklist

1 Set of Daddy Issues

1 Very Bad Husband (Deceased)

1 Silent Lamb

8 Bad Horses

1 Terrible Uncle

2 Ugly Gumboots

1 Sexytimes in a Chair

Several Sexytimes on a Roof

1 "WE'RE GOING STREAKIIIIIIIIING!" Scene

1 Poke and a Send

The Word: This was a bit of a disappointing read for me, because I went in with such high expectations. At Read, React, Review's suggestion, I picked up The Proposition and adored the writing, the characters, and most of all, the interesting, gender-reversed retelling of My Fair Lady. Now, while all the elements of Judith Ivory's writing are still present in Untie My Heart, they were ultimately used to tell a story that made me uncomfortable and didn't seem to make much sense.

Emma is a widowed sheepfarmer in a small village in Yorkshire who survives by doing whatever she can - raising sheep, baking bread for the village, doing her neighbour's mending, and while it's a small life, it's honest and it's hers.

When a carriage owned by the new lord of the manor at the top of the hill (Viscount Mount Villiers) performs a fatal hit-and-run on her prize (and only) male breeding lamb, Emma is determined to obtain compensation. However, the lord responds only with condescending lackeys and rude letters and impractical bank cheques for meager sums that won't even begin to cover the income she's lost with the lamb.

When it looks like even a victory in court won't grant her the money she's owed (because the wealthy viscount can always appeal), she finally decides to fall back on her old roots: as a London con artist. Using an elaborate embezzling scheme, she manages to forge a cheque for the money she's owed and create a false bank account with which to cash it.

And then she gets caught.

As it turns out, the Viscount, Stuart, is in a despairingly complicated financial situation. He inherited the title while on the continent, and before he could get back to England, his villainous uncle attempted to usurp his titles and finances by having him declared dead. He arrived in time to save his title, but his uncle had twisted and tangled his finances so much that even months later, his lawyers and bankers are still trying to sort it out and he's on a very tight financial leash.

So while he's outraged to discover this woman robbed him, he's delighted to discover a way to embezzle his own money out of limbo, and a woman experienced enough in the art of the con to help him revenge himself upon his larcenous uncle. However, she still needs a little convincing so ... he ties her to a chair and has his way with her.

This was when the novel started to get unsettling for me. As it turns out, Untie My Heart is a romance founded on a BDSM theme. Which I perhaps should have guessed from the title. The thing is, because of that, I made the personal discovery that I do not like BDSM or those attitudes (in a "not my bag" way, not the "it's wrong you filthy, filthy hoors" way) and they made me very uncomfortable. Stuart is a man who openly states that he desires power in every situation (which is why he rages at being brought to heel by the mess of his financial affairs) and he likes frightening women - just a little, because they're so attractive when they're scared.

The "Chair Scene" is very indicative of the ultimate progression of Emma and Stuart's romance throughout the rest of the book - where Stuart makes a bunch of abrupt sexual decisions that terrify Emma until, quite suddenly, she's enjoying herself. Now, I already hate the types of romances where the hero sexually harasses the heroine until she finally gives in, but combine that with the couple's odd power dynamics, and the result is a read that left me uneasy. Stuart continually defies Emma's consent under the reasoning that he knows what's best for her, and while he righteously refuses to cross "the ultimate" boundary and insists that Emma is really in control of the whole situation, I didn't understand it.

But then, Emma is an inconsistently-written character to begin with, so it's hard to tell when she's in control or not. She swings between the Hardened Con and the Sexual Innocent and it sometimes comes across like the author is trying to play it both ways but it doesn't really work. For instance, one incredibly confusing and tense scene arises when she is appalled by something I would have assumed she'd encountered before with the type of criminal underworld past that she had.

Her criminal underworld bits (especially her and Stuart's plot to con his uncle into relinquishing stolen heirlooms) are the best parts of the novel, because they show the heroine at her smartest and most focused. However, the con really isn't the major part of the book. Most of the book is Stuart trying to get into Emma's pants and Emma fighting it and Stuart acting all concerned that she's fighting her perfectly natural beautiful urges and won't you let me help you release that sexual tension, darling? My bedroom's that way! Honestly, there were several times in this novel that the characters' actions just seemed so divorced from what I'd previously come to understand about them, their motivations and prejudices.

That being said, the writing is lovely, so rich and detailed - however, the downside is that if the author is describing an area or a situation that you don't like or feel is relevant, it takes forever. The pacing in this novel is very, very slow. There's one point near the beginning where two and a half pages of words are spent describing the hero's coat. It's an awesome coat, but since it can't talk or make any decisions does it really need that much description?

Honestly, most of the negativity from this review comes from lowered expectations and a discomfort with the material. Writing-wise, it's a solid book, with some interesting details about embezzlement and con artistry in late-Victorian England. And if you happen to like BDSM themes that don't translate into openly erotic scenes, then this might just be the romance for you.
B-.

Okay, so this is going to be a bit of a change-up - not a regular thing, unforch, but the fact of the matter is:

I read this book and totally forgot to review it.

It got lost in the shuffle.

I clicked on my YA tag and saw that there was no review for Catching Fire, even though I did read it.

And that's when I realized I'd forgotten. Eeep. I'd also already given the book back (it was borrowed). I also read it a month ago or more.

So I'm doing without my usual rigamarole because this is all from memory. I'm probably going to forget or misspell character names, that sort of thing, but my impressions of this novel are still strong.

My main impression? I felt cheated. *Spoilers for Both Books Ahead*

Let me explain. Catching Fire takes off after Hunger Games ended, with Katniss and Peeta returning triumphantly to their home district after Katniss' quick thinking saved them both from certain death. There's never been two winners in the Hunger Games before - the yearly tradition where each district sends two teenage "tributes" to a central arena where they all fight to the death.

Unfortunately, thanks to her little stunt, Katniss is under intense scrutiny from the Evil Powers that Be, who worry her defiance of the Games will spark a revolution they will have to mercilessly crush. Their Evil Leader, President Snow, makes it very clear to Katniss that she will have to toe the line as she makes her winner's progress through the districts - or else her family will suffer the consequences.

As in the last novel, "toeing the line" involves faking a romantic relationship with Peeta, which would paint her unorthodox moves in the Games as the actions of a lovestruck teenager rather than a rebel stickin' it to the man. Peeta is a nice enough guy, but Katniss also has feelings for Gale, a loyal childhood friend, and the idea of having even her romantic life controlled by the Capital (possibly for the rest of her life) is abhorrent.

The first half of the novel is quite strong. As Katniss and Peeta make their winners' progress through the districts, they witness that it's not only their hometown of District 12 that's dissatisfied with the Capital's tyranny. People everywhere feel the unfair weight of Capital control and the Capital's recent implementation of harsher punishments and regulations is taking its toll. Katniss has to war with some pretty hefty arguments - should she think of her family first and keep quiet, or should she look at the big picture and help turn that spark of defiance into a conflagration that could make things better for everyone? Or would that only end in more death and destruction?

The novel was well on its way to becoming something awesome when President Snow announces the rules for the Quarter Quell - the special Hunger Games that happen every 25 years (how convenient). Because it's the 75th anniversary of the Hunger Games, the Capital can choose just about any kind of rules it wants, and this time around, it decides that tributes will only be picked from the surviving Hunger Game winners. Which means that Peeta and Katniss have to compete in the Hunger Games again.

And then the novel's all downhill from there. It's not particularly badly-written (and the design of the particular Games is clever), but it's just. More. Of. The. SAME. Cinna gives Katniss a flamboyantly awesome entrance. Katniss meets more contestants and has to wonder if she'll have to kill them or be killed. Weird, poorly-developed sci-fi dangers are confronted and defeated. Katniss has to pretend she loves Peeta (more than she's already starting to) - only this time she's faking a pregnancy too! It's all well and good but I liked it better WHEN I READ ALL OF THIS THE FIRST TIME, IN THE HUNGER GAMES.

And I have to admit, this is a review where I will HAVE to spoil the ending, because it's integral to how I viewed this novel and why it left me so disappointed and angry. SPOILERS: At the end of the new Hunger Games, Katniss is rescued by her mentor Haymitch and is told that he and a bunch of conspirators have engineered the revolution, which is already in progress.

Yes. THIS is the part of the novel that angered me the most - ALL of the super-important stuff to the story happened TO OTHER PEOPLE, OFF-SCREEN. I, as the reader, missed it, because I was too busy slogging through what was essentially a retread of the first book. I'm sorry, but NO. I'm the fucking reader. I should have been allowed to read how the revolution was started. I should have gotten to read about the spies and the sabotage AS IT HAPPENED, not SECONDHAND at the very end of the novel. After getting to the end, I felt as if the author had put me at the kiddie table while the adults had their own conversation without me.

I've never had to worry about sequels in book form because usually, they don't end up in the same pitfalls as, say, movie sequels. Movies, because they are usually self-contained narratives, don't require a sequel - so when sequels are made in order to capitalize off the success of the first one, they often fall prey to the Same But Different trope - where they essentially tell the same story as the first movie, just with a different villain/setting, etc. Look at Home Alone 2 as an example - exact same plot, just in a New York hotel.

But with books? Where they are often written with a series in mind (as The Hunger Games clearly was), I expected Catching Fire to tell a different story. It started to, but halfway through, we get another Hunger Games, and somehow this is so much more essential to the reader than the actual revolution. And honestly, it didn't leave as big an impression on me as the first novel.

Here's hoping that Mockingjay will set things right.
C+