Today, after eighteen years of waiting patiently by the sidelines, I have finally received my chance to check my ballot of choice and add my voice to the growing number of Canadians who are desparate to have Canada run by "the right people" and not the "[insert name of party you don't like here] nutjobs". To be honest, however, I am an ignorant youngster with muddled priorities, as you probably could have guessed. I am more concerned with what Ebert and Roeper thought of "Spider-Man 2" than how some of my dad's friends think Steven Harper is "Stockwell Day with a library card". When I read the newspaper, I skip ahead to the "Culture" (apparently, a classier name for "Entertainment") section, because I find the details of Peter Jackson's next film infinitely more interesting and less depressing than editorials on how the Liberals have screwed Canada up the yin-yang. I mean, if we believed everything the papers said, than no Canadian politician in the history of time has EVER done ANYTHING right! We should put all politicians to death and hire some decent Canadian celebrities to rule the country! I'm sure Alanis Morissette has a few things to say about Canada's foreign policy! Jim Carrey could fix up the sorry state of our schools as a Minister of Learning... wait a minute, didn't he drop out in grade 9? Ha! That doesn't matter! Ralph Klein (the alcohol-guzzling overlord of Alberta) didn't graduate either and look at all the good he -- umm.... uh, never mind. There's not much good you can say about a guy who got hammered on Christmas Eve and drove down to the shelter to make fun of the homeless people. Yeah, yeah, I'd say that's a higher priority on an Evil Villain's To Do List (next to "Steal candy from babies" and "Walk an old lady down the street...and into a speeding truck!") than a Responsible Political Leader's.
Look at me, getting all political when I really have no knowledge of politics! Thank God for free speech, eh? Anyway, continuing on, I usually vote for the party, and not necessarily for the leader. I don't have the motivation or understanding to keep up with the times (c'mon, I'm young. Let me enjoy my youth!), so I can't really keep track of all the political pawns on the gigantic Canada chess board. I paid attention in Social Studies enough to form an opinion on which party I think is better (I'm not telling.....oh please, I tell you people everything else!), and so that's how I vote. Is that really so bad? I still have a valid opinion on how Canada should be run, it's just that my vision is a great deal more vague and general. As far as I can tell, Canada did not become a smoking crater in the earth when the Conservatives were in power, and it didn't explode when the Liberals were in power, so neither party did a complete crap-job with Canada's policies.