Friday, November 04, 2005

My Exclusion from Nerd-Topia

I realize that it's sinfully early to do so, but I've been constructing and revising my Christmas Wish list.
It's amazing how much writing your own wish list tells you about yourself. For me, this year I thought that the things I was asking for were more mature. I asked for books about novel writing, and memoirs of authors, as well as Movie/Book/CD gift certificates.
I also didn't ask for anime. Or videogames.
I think I've actually grown out of videogames. I just don't have the time to invest in RPGs anymore - they're like novels - if you stop halfway and come back to them months later, you have no idea what's going on. I have so many more things I need to spend my time on - my stories, my blog, my reading of authors' blogs, my reading books for review and school - that videogames just seem irrelevant.
And anime - I still like watching it, but I've never had the money to buy them regularly. It's not that I don't like anime anymore, it's just that I've learned I can live a perfectly happy life without it. Both this, and my new apathy towards videogames leaves me feeling a little depressed.
I think it's because liking videogames, and liking anime, gave me contacts. Not actual, literal contacts, but I always knew that there were other people out there who looked these games and shows, cool people, famous people, funny people (like the guys over at Machall.com, Pvponline.com, and Penny-Arcade.com) - I felt part of the whole Nerd Universe, a silent network of sunlight-shunning people. It made me feel like I was making some sort of contribution to pop culture, because Nerd is "in" these days, and all the TV shows and entertainment magazines and films are making a big deal about games and anime now. It made me feel popular - like I would if I found out that Rachel McAdams used the same lipstick I did. It's stupid, and shallow, but it made me feel less like a freak.
And now I feel a little isolated. I've eaten from the Forbidden Tree of Maturity, so now the Nerd God has expelled me from the Nerd Eden, to eke out a harsh life in the barren Desert of Adult Interests. Now that I don't rely on videogames for entertainment anymore - writers are solitary people by nature, and when was the last time a Fantasy Author (excluding Stephen King, Rowling, etc..), or the act of reading or writing fantasy novels, was joked about on the O.C., or was the motive for a grisly murder on C.S.I.? I'm sure I'll get over it, I'm sure many people (parents included) will think this makes me an "adult now" - but sometimes I wish I could scoot back over to the kiddie table.

At least I still like playing Monopoly - Topher Grace, Tobey Maguire, AND Jay Leno love that game, although Leno doesn't use a jackpot for Free Parking. Pssh, loser.

2 comments:

  1. Hi and thanks for your kind words about my weblog!
    The best book I have ever found on writing is one I've had since seventh grade. It's been revised three times and I've had all the editions. It's 'The Elements of Style' by Strunk and White.
    The first edition is actually online, because the copyright ran out. I have a copy next to my desk and use it so regularly it's dog-eared. At only about 130 pages, it's concise and easy to use.
    And it has the best advice on writing of any book I've ever found.
    Best wishes,
    Jenny

    ReplyDelete
  2. Um. "I've eaten from the Forbidden Tree of Maturity, so now the Nerd God has expelled me from the Nerd Eden, to eke out a harsh life in the barren Desert of Adult Interests"

    Brilliant.

    ReplyDelete