Today, after work, I went to the Mall (the Big One - I needn't tell you where since you're all so smart you've probably already guessed the city I live in by now) to look for a part-time job to supplement my other one. As I was walking on the first floor, I passed a sign saying I was walking across the film set to the in-production Yuletide film Christmas In Wonderland, and that by doing so the company was allowed to use my image, should it appear on film, however they wanted, etc, etc. There were snaking cables everywhere, stretching all the way back to the Ice Palace and beyond, as well as lights reflecting off of mirrors, and young men in walkie-talkies, booms, grips, and a craft service table.
Everyone was just walking wherever they pleased, but some people had stopped to look, so I did too. A bunch of kids with shopping bags were just sitting around on benches, some where leaning up against storefronts, and a couple in fur coats (fur coats??) were talking in whispers by a mirrored column. The only person I guessed was an actor was an extremely large man in a green Hawaiian shirt who was being tended by two aids with hand-held fans and tissues trying to daub the sweat off of his face without smudging his make-up. But then someone in a megaphone yelled something, and the guys in walkie talkies started barking at people to leave the set, so I walked a ways off, but they continued to say "Keep going! You're right in the shot!" I honestly couldn't tell where I should stop, because there were still people hanging around.
I skittered nervously away to an escalator, and watched the rest of it unimpeded from the second floor. It was then that the immensity of my ADD hit me square in the face, when I finally noticed that all the kids sitting on benches and leaning around and talking were all wearing toques and parkas and winter coats. In May. And it also explained why the Mall still had it's Christmas decorations up - they were shooting a Christmas movie! Face, meet palm! It's funny the things my mind just doesn't notice.
Anyway, the director yelled, "Rolling!" then "Action!" (just like in the movies - HA!) and the weird couple in fur coats and the kids all started walking like they all had places to be - and the rubberneckers inconveniently dressed in shorts and tank-tops for the summer season had been successfully herded away. The scene, from what I could see, seemed to comprise of a man in a tan jacket and red shirt examining some sunglasses and then walking away looking around significantly.
I honestly didn't think there were going to be any stars at this point - I figured since they were doing it in the middle of the day in the summer crush they were just doing establishing shots or crowd scenes or minor shots - I imagined the man at the sunglass stand would turn out to be a bungling criminal that those meddling kids would help catch in a serious of slapstick capers. Or something. It's a kids movie, c'mon!
But then, after letting some of the actual shoppers through, the guys with walking-talkies went back to cat-herding and got them all out, and the director yelled "Action!" again. This time though, Chris Kattan - aka Mango, Mr Peepers, Mr Feather from Undercover Brother, the walking gymnast corpse from Monkeybone, the other half of that weird SNL skit where the guys tilt their heads to "What is Love?" - dressed in a black suit, stormed down the hallway looking very annoyed, with the big fat guy (apparently Preston Lacy from Jackass) waddling behind him. The actual Chris Kattan! In person!
Anyway, not knowing the plot. I imagined that Kattan would play the buttoned-up, strict Mall Manager, or some Goofily Oppressive Authority Figure those Meddling Kids would have to deal with (with slapstick capers, of course). Mr Lacy, I assumed, was his shlubby sidekick. I stood around staring at Kattan for a while (it isn't anymore comfortable staring at a celebrity as it is staring at anyone else - anytime one of the entourage moved their head so much as 45 degrees in my direction I raised my eyes to the ceiling and pretended I was looking somewhere else, I wasn't just some creepy rubbernecker like the others, oh no...), when I heard some people mention the name Swayze.
What? I walked around to the other side to get a better view, and I saw a tall, brown-haired man in a blue shirt between two jewellery carts. His back was to me, and I was looking down at an angle. He's a grip, I thought, or a best boy, whatever those are...Then he turned around. Flash! It was like walking through the woods, and you're not expecting to see any wild animals because you're a human making a big, stomping racket, and then out of nowhere this gorgeous deer leaps into view for just a second before trotting away as calm as you please. I was looking at the face of Patrick Swayze - and I was close enough to recognize him! Swayze and Kattan.
I pretty much turned into all of those idiotic "little people" who wonder wow, they look just the same as they do on screen... I honestly wished I had a camera. Seriously. Freakin' cool. I hung around for a bit, but eventually knew I had to go home. My mother was yelped when I told her the news, but no one reacted as much as Sister #1 - she's a huge fan of the Guy Who Kept Baby Out of the Corner.
Anyway, I went online and looked up the plot. From what I can gather, Chris Kattan and Preston Lacy probably play a couple of criminals dealing in counterfeit bills (that the Meddling Kids have to bring to justice with some Slapstick Capers!), but I'm quite pleased to note that Our City will be playing Our City, and not Our City Dressed Up To Look Like Seattle Because It's Cheaper To Film Here. It looks to be pretty interesting - or at least, more interesting than Snow Days, which was also filmed in our city (in front of my Nana's house!).