Thursday, July 03, 2008

"Countdown," by Michelle Maddox (Half-Review)

The Chick: Kira Jordan, a cynical thief and pickpocket who's managed to keep herself alive with her "flex," a mild psychic ability that allows her to read people's intentions. That is, until she's kidnapped and forced to participate in the deadly reality game show The Countdown.
The Rub: Terrified of the dark. Because it was dark when a burglar murdered her entire family seven years ago, natch.

The Dude:
Rogan Ellis, a convicted rapist and murderer of nine women who volunteers for The Countdown because, well, he's got 500 years worth of consecutive life sentences to work off, so why not?
The Rub: He might actually be innocent of the rape and murder charges, but he still knows more about The Countdown than he lets on.

The Plot:

Kira: Where am I? What's going on?

Evil Announcer: Welcome to the COUNTDOWN! Play or DIE!

Rogan: Looks like we'll have to work together!

Kira: But I don't know who to trust!

Evil Doctor: Kira, Rogan killed your family!

Evil Fellow Competitor: No, I killed your family!

Rogan's Brother: I'm an evil computer virus!

Kira: ... ... Dammit, my head hurts. Let's just have sex.

Evil Anonymous Audience: SCORE!

Romance Convention Checklist:

1 World-Weary Tough-as-Nails Street Gal

1 Rugged Hero with a Daaaaark Paaaaast

1 Accidentally Televised Bout of Lovemaking

1 Inappropriately Short Skirt

1 Inconvenient Phobia

1 Nasty (or IS he?) Relative

1 Lacklustre Sexual Rival

Sci-Fi Convention Checklist:

1 Evil Robot Accountant

1 Not-So-Mad Mad Scientist

1 Example of Psychic Powers

2 Miraculous Healing Serums

1 Villain Who Wants to Take Over the World, nyaah!

The Word:
Nuh-uh. I think the good folks at Green Man Review must be on to me - they're sending me more sci-fi and fantasy romances than just plain sci-fi and fantasy. You'll have to head on down to in about a month or so to see my review.

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